ramblings

in transit

Galatians 2:20 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Father,

In You, I find strength and rest. I’ve been distracted lately and am thankful for the reminder that it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Lord, I’m giving up control, would You take over and lead the way. I want to place my trust in You through every step of the way.

Remind me of my identity in You - You love me exactly the way I am. At the end of each day, I can’t help but fall at Your feet. My own willpower will not do - and so I need You as I face each day. Without You, I know I am bound to fail. And so I look to You in everything that I do. Take my cares, my worries, my doubts, and my thoughts - Take it all and make it Yours, Father. I give it all to You.

Staying in on a Friday night… not as bad as I thought it’d be.
My life has turned 180 degrees since the school year has started. Teaching is becoming draining, and I’m so sick of constantly lesson planning. I wish I had a clone sometimes :( I am so, so thankful for Columbus Day off… I know that those who aren’t teachers get bitter but the days off are so necessary, mostly for our mental stability! haha. Plus, it’s not really a day off b/c we end up bringing work home :(

Either way, I’m reminded that our God wants us to rest in His presence even with the busyness of our schedules. Not just 5 minutes of QT in the morning like I usually do :X but to just rest. Again, this is something I’m learning to do. Perhaps it’s living in the tri-state area where everything is fast-paced and people are doing, doing doing. Lord, teach me that resting and not being busy is not always a bad thing. 

Journaling/Pandora time is nice~ :)

as one

Currently Playing: Mark Schultz - All Things Possible

Reminded again and again that we are not cut out to function on our own. As much as I wish this were true, He longs for us to be in community. He longs for the Body to act as One, and not separately. And once we experience what it’s like to be together and to serve one another, it makes us want more of it. Giving is not as easy as it seems - especially because we tend to think a lot about ourselves. But I realized that we must think about the Cross and remember that this life that we are living belongs to Him. Knowing this, it helps to know that there are others who will be willing to guide you and help you along the way. 

Excited for small groups to start up again.. Another school year ahead. Even when times get tough, would I say,Yes, Lord.”

Philippians 4:13. Isaiah 4:6-7
 

fleeting summer

Currently Playing: All My Hope - Hillsongs

"What you see what God would do for someone else, that’s religion. Once we see what God would do for us, that’s a relationship!"

Even with the summer ending, and a new school year beginning, would He continue to lead me. 

"Light in my darkness
Peace for my soul
You are my rescue
You never let go…
 
Here in my weakness
Always the same
Your love is my shelter
Your life is my way

All my hope is in You
All my strength is in You
With every breath
My soul will rest in You” 

Got back from a Shane & Shane concert. Fell in love with this song.. Honestly sounds better live but this’ll do for now. :)

“If Your presence goes, I don’t wanna stay,
If Your presence stays, I don’t wanna go,
I need You.” 

new beginnings

"Fear not, for I am with you;
 be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

 Got back from an amazing wedding today. You could tell that the room we were in was filled with the Holy Spirit. It’s exciting to see God bring 2 people together in His timing. The vows I heard today were, by far, the best I’ve heard thus far. I’m sure many of the guys’ eyes were “sweating”. Heh heh. In any case, can’t believe we are at the age where everyone around us is getting married and having babies. Time flies.. 5 years since I’ve been done with college. T.T

This was the bride’s favorite song so we sang it today. Love, love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEPk9YU6uEw

"There’s a love, forgetting my failures.
There’s a hope, that’s setting me free.
There’s a light, defeating my darkness.

And there’s redemption calling,
And causing all to sing

Father will you come and open up our eyes,
Fill us with Your love, renew us with Your life
Consume us with Your majesty, majesty.

Glory, Honor, and Power belong to You.”

 Teach me to live a life in which glory, honor, and power belong to You. You’ve proven faithful in the past and so I have confidence that You will continue to do so in the present and future. Remind me Lord that my identity is always in You, first and foremost. Help me to let go of the things I’m holding onto, for everything is in Your control. Lead me Lord and I will follow..

it goes on

Currently Playing: With Everything - Hillsongs NYC

DTC is officially over. Graduation was on June 30. All the teams returned safely with no one getting too sick. Bolivia was amazing. One big takeaway from this trip: God’s timing is perfect. It’s comforting to know that God always sees the bigger picture. He knew that there was a need at Juda Quy (the orphanage we worked with) and the YWAM base in Bolivia. God proved that He is, indeed, everywhere. Despite some language barriers, God provided some YWAMers who knew English to translate some of our testimonies and conversations. The only question I kept asking over and over again was “Are you tired?” in Spanish. Which is really sad considering I studied Spanish in high school… We met awesome people at the YWAM base - immediately they made us feel at home, offering us more blankets as it rained for 4 days straight, which is UNHEARD of in Bolivia. They joked saying that we brought the rain with us. One miracle: we prayed for no rain on a Thursday and lo and behold! It was clear skies and sunshine Friday and Saturday, allowing us to continue on with soccer outreach and enjoying the plaza and sightseeing during our last day there. 

There’s so much to say about Bolivia but to keep it short, God revealed that we are one body. It doesn’t matter what language we speak, where we live, and even with our differences, we make up The Body. When we come together and  pray as one, it pleases Him. The main question the DTCers were asked after coming back was: Now what? 

Honestly, that’s a tough question. For me, I guess God’s given me more of a heart to pray. Pray on behalf of others, pray for our church, pray for more of God’s love to pour down on our lives. Pray for a desire to have a relationship with Him. Before I think these were just ideas or things that felt kind of far away but I now know that all of these are attainable and possible because we have a Father that is fighting with us and for us. Missions can take place wherever we are. So in the meantime, I guess you can say my mission is to encourage and eventually spread the gospel to my family, friends, and even coworkers. Family is the toughest but hey, it’s possible.

It’s weird now that I have my weekends free again. But I don’t mind actually. :) I know that there is good in store for this summer. I’m thankful to my DTC family for helping me experience the freedom and community that I always longed for. Especially glad that He is alive in me. My prayer is that more people would be able to experience this kind of freedom - through me or through other people’s testimonies. Okay, before I write a novel, time for some shut eye.

get set, go

Week 12

Currently Playing: Kutless - Give Us Clean Hands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9dDrK2a3Os

"We’re reminded of how we continually dip our hands in sin. We continually handle things that cause us separation from the Lord."

Believe it or not, outreach week is here! People have been asking me if I’m ready or how I feel.. and honestly, I really don’t know how I feel. Half nervous but half excited… to all that He will do in Bolivia. Loren Cunningham mentions in his book, “Is It Really You God?” how we must come to God with clean hearts to hear His voice.. especially if we want Him to use us to do His ministry. My prayer is that we, as a team, would come humbly before Him acknowledging that we are broken and sinful. Would we lay down our idols and any distractions/thoughts so we would be left with only one thing: His love for us. Would we not be ashamed of sharing with one another.. for He’s called us His people, a body of One. I pray that as the people of Bolivia meet us, they would see God’s love in us. All glory is for Him.. Would we keep our eyes fixated on Him. It’s pretty awesome.. or should I say He’s pretty awesome. Haha :) He is good and His goodness lasts forever

holds everything

Currently Playing: The Power of Your name - Lincoln Brewster

Week 11

A few hours before, I was feeling exhausted and began wondering things like how walking this path isn’t easy. It’s the ups and downs of something called emotions. This reminded me of my limitations and how God has no limitations. Although I find myself growing weak and tired.. I’m reminded of His unwavering love for Me. I don’t deserve it, but by grace He covers a multitude of sins and is able to love someone like me. I’m reminded that this life is not my own.. which is taking time to accept even now. I realize how some of my desires are more for this world and I can’t help but feel the way I feel. I guess a good thing is that I’m not condemning myself as much anymore… That when I feel like this, it’s okay but then it’s what I do with it. He wants me to bring all of it to the Cross and lay it in His hands. So Father, there are still things that I’m having trouble letting go… I make a bunch of excuses in my head, but I know that in the end, they are just excuses. I want to believe that although it gets grueling at times, that Your plans for me are good. You won’t give me anything more than I can bear. I’m learning that it’s okay not being put together all the time.. that it’s okay to be broken.. and to appear weak.. Please help me to trust in You in everything that I do. :)

Your name

Is a shelter for the hurting
Jesus Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need”